Teen Routine

                   Verbatim                                                          13.04.23

                   … [preamble]

                   So, it starts with, um

                   I wake up at my with my alarm

                   I get out of bed

                   I open my window

                   listen to the birdsong

                   and drink the rest of my water

                   and have a look at the day

                   and this is normally

                   I’d like to say

                   I get out of bed about eight

                   and probably set my alarm for about half seven

                   and then I’ll go into the bathroom

                   I’ll have a wee

                   dab my face with cold water

                   and then I go back

                   get my phone into my room

                   take all the dirty pots and mugs and all that

                   go downstairs and then the first thing I do

                   when like when I walk through into the kitchen

                   I put the kettle on, that’s the thing that takes the longest

                   to be fair the our toaster’s really shit as well

                   so I have to wait a little bit around

                   but I get my crumpets or my frozen bread

                   and I put it I get two put it down

                   and then I get my cafetiere and my mug

                   hopefully I’ve got one that’s already clean

                   if not I’ll wash it up quickly

                   bit of cold water or whatever

                   and then I’ll get my er coffee

                   pop it into the cafetiere that by then

                   is probably when the kettle’s boiled

                   so I pour that into the cafetiere

                   and I let that simmer or whatever for a while

                   and then I get my um

                   butter

                   marmite

                   knife

                   spoon

                   and plate

                   and I spread that all out

                   cos I’m I’m making time for when my things come up

                   because i wanna don’t wanna want to be standing round

                   or i just feel like I don’t whatever

                  and then I have to normally

                   our toaster’s really shit

                   so I have to after about five minutes

                   before I put it to about three

                   and then then it pops up

                   and it’s how I want them perfect feel them

                   get them get the butter put it down

                   get them out put it down

                   and that’s when the cafetiere and the coffee is all lovely

                   so I get my oat milk

                   I pour it in with the cafetiere into my mug

                   and I have my phone in my pocket

                   and then I’ve got my my crumpets

                   and my coffee

                   I take it upstairs

                   and then on my bed I move my pillows

                   so they rest on the wall

                   so I sit with my legs dangling over the bed

                   and I prop my phone up on

                   y’know the little um wooden ledge

                   just of above the bed head

                   prop my phone up

                   and then i watch an array

                   of whatever tv show I’m watching

                   so at the moment it’s Friends

                   before it was

                   something

                   it was yeah um there was Merlin was one for a while

                   and then I just watched I watched that tv show

                   while having my crumpets

                   and my rule

                   is once my I’ve finished my coffee

                   that’s when I get out of bed

                   and then I shut the window after that

                   cos I don’t want any

                   I’ve got a massive spider’s web

                   in the corner of my window on the outside

                   and I can and it’s like ginormous this spider’s web

                   and the spider’s ginormous as well

                   and whenever it catches something  

                   cos it’s like very windy or whatever and it goes

                   it’s comes out I’m like oh my god

                   I’m gonna shut it

                   because its I’m too scared it’s gonna come into the room

                   it’s so big and it’s right in the corner of my window

                   so I have to shut it just in case

                   that that concludes my breakfast routine

 Transcription from the morning routine of a 19yr old in Halls of Residence at Leeds Beckett University – recorded 13th April 2023 19.28pm

                                                                                                        [running time 3:32.41]